Hey Emily,

I just started using Tinder and it’s very stressful. A girl I know “Super Liked” me, but what does that mean? Does she wanna hook up? Or is it just a “hey, we’re friends” like? Am I obligated to like her back?

Sincerely,

Tindered Out

Dear Tindered Out,

Let me just say a few things first. One, Tinder at Kenyon is super f’ing weird. Inevitably, when you’re Tindering on campus, you’re going to see matches (or non-matches) around. And because fate has a wicked sense of humor, it’ll be while you’re shoving Froot Loops in your mouth, stumbling out of Peirce at 9:39 a.m. for a Tuesday class. Two, the “Super Like” is honestly terrifying to me. Ask me another time about the man who Super Liked me all the way from Cleveland with the promise he “will grow” and that he’s looking for an “attractive and very beautiful woman.” Those are expectations I just can’t live up to. For those who don’t know, the Super Like allows a user to show another user they have liked them — a feature that doesn’t accompany a regular like; apparently it’s supposed to boost the chances of a match by something like 300 percent.

OK, back to you. My rule of thumb for the Super Like is you’re not required to like them back. It adds a layer of pressure for which no one is prepared. Like I said, the Tinder scene at Kenyon is strange, as you most likely will see people on the app, and subsequently in real life, whom you recognize. So if you’re friends, but not super close friends (or Super Like friends), as I’m gathering you’re not, I would say it’s crispy (trying to make this the new “chill” — let me know if this is fated to be like Gretchen’s “fetch”) to like back and casually chat. It may be the lesser of two evils, because to deny that Super Like would be like shooting down someone at his highest and being forced to watch him fall. So during the chatting phase, just hint casually that you’re not looking for anything.

I’ve liked and matched with friends at Kenyon on Tinder and it’s casual and fun. It doesn’t have to be sexual or romantic if you don’t want it to be. There’s a hypersensitivity about the app on campus, because it takes some balls to turn on your discovery feature inside the Kenyon Bubble. A like — or Super Like — here could be an actual “hey, I like you” or it could be a “we’re friends, I’ll like you for the heck of it and because it’s funny that we’re clearly both out here tryna” kind of thing. But you won’t know unless you match and see.

Love always,

Emily

Emily Sakamoto ’16 is an English major with a concentration in creative writing and a minor in messing with people’s personal lives, whether they ask for advice or not, from North Oaks, Minn. Contact her at sakamotoe@kenyon.edu.

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