As I write this on Tuesday at 7:53 p.m., I have seen no official statement about who will be headlining Summer Sendoff in three weeks’ time. Not that I care. You didn’t get me with that WALK THE MOON prank, Social Board. Not because I didn’t believe it, but because I don’t care. I’m content with the free food trucks, excuse to drink before class, Blueberry Jam Collective and just being merry with my friends. I will be content with whatever white guy with a guitar we get.
That being said, as the deadline looms, I would like to offer some suggestions for who could rock Gambier down.
1 Leonard Cohen: He’s hot. He’s soulful. He is very relevant to my religious studies degree. He’s only been dead 10 years, so I feel like he’s right at the level of popularity where we could get him.
2 Whatever pledge class is screaming in the South Quad at 6 a.m.: You guys are a little pitchy, but I think if you spend the next three weeks working on it, you could be ready for the big stage.
3 Salt N Pepa: My roommate Abby Maroney ’27 had her parents visit, and this was her mom’s favorite in college.
4 boygenius: Reunion o’clock?
5 Professional-Class Liberals and the Fate of the Democratic Party: I wasn’t able to make Lily Geismer’s talk last month, but kind of wish I had. Heard she brought up Bill Clinton… Maybe she can play the sax?
I can only assume there’s no announcement because we haven’t locked anyone down yet. So to Social Board, let me say: It’s okay.
I haven’t turned in my “Is Slam Frank Heresy?” outline that was due last Friday. Our professors are giving “anything but a paper” final assignments. We’re all trying our best. I don’t care who you get, I’ll still be there. I’m ready for Victor and Redford. I’m ready for free mini donuts. I’m ready for more social, less bored. The weather is nice and the days are free and I’m so excited to celebrate with all of you. (Also my uncle knows Phish; let me know.)
Dalia Fishman ’27 is a philosophy and religious studies major from McLean, VA. She can be reached at fishman2@kenyon.edu.