“Commas save lives: Let’s eat Grandma vs. Let’s eat, Grandma.” Classic middle school English teacher vibes. In all seriousness, though, these cornball axioms serve a purpose. Kenyon is a writer’s college by name, and we understand the power of words and how important it is to use them carefully, and punctuate them properly. Despite this, many may or may not know that through no fault of our own, but rather due to the horrific and tyrannical rule of the Associated Press (AP) Stylebook, the Collegian does not use the Oxford comma. 

Even those who don’t know all that much about grammar (me) use the Oxford comma all the time. It’s a crucial punctuation mark that makes sentences read much clearer. The Oxford comma is “a comma used after the penultimate item in a list of three or more items, before ‘and’ or ‘or.’” For example: I bought pickles, bread and butter. See? It would have gone between “bread” and “butter.” Did I buy the ingredients to make an oddly specific and weird sounding sandwich? Or did I buy the crinkle-cut coin pickles that are specifically called bread and butter pickles? You don’t know, and it matters. 

The AP Stylebook says that you can use the Oxford comma “if omitting it could make the meaning unclear.” So if any readers do end up writing for the Collegian, you can technically use it, but you have to get through the grammar final boss and absolute mammoth of a man otherwise known as Chief Copy Editor Erik Kim ’27. If you don’t know, he is extremely intimidating and doesn’t let anything slide. I even heard a story that he once reduced our editor-in-chief, a Pulitzer Prize winner and a first-year student to tears because of how strict his edits were. Pretty impressive to win it that young too. 

To future writers and confused readers, please beware that our inability to use the Oxford comma is not our fault. It’s those damn AP guidelines. I know that some rules are above us, and those grammar tyrants are smiling away in their ivory tower full of unclear sentences. So with all due respect to the AP Stylebook, outside of Collegian writing, I will continue punctuating for my sanity, readers and anyone who prefers not to be grammatically fused to the nearest thing. 

Robbie Lifson ’27 is a political science and psychology major from Sudbury, MA. He can be reached at lifson3@kenyon.edu.