Look, all I’m saying is that we have a pub in the basement, and for whatever reason, we’re not using it. Why must our student body be deprived of such an obvious slam dunk? We’ve got the venue, the seating, the small stage for open mics and karaoke, the cozy lighting, all of which create a prime atmosphere for fostering community — and yet, it’s all going to waste. 

Drifting away like a Peirce napkin in the wind, this stellar opportunity to drink without fear of being busted by Campus Security is slipping through our fingertips. I have even heard that the Peirce Pub, which has been reduced to an enclave below the main floor of Peirce, was once used as a real pub, but that it was likely shut down due to “budget cuts” or some other arbitrary reason. I would by no means consider myself an activist, but if writing a strongly-worded article in the Collegian means potentially getting more beer on this campus, then get me a picket sign and some markers because I WILL RISE to the occasion. Let’s get it going, Peirce, pour me a pint!

Picture this: You’ve just finished a long day working relentlessly in Chalmers, shielded from the sun, and your fingers are aching from all of the typing you’ve been doing. It’s 8 p.m.; your head is nodding; and boy, oh boy, are you thirsty. What you need… is a drink. Now think of how awesome it would be to text your buddies, Drinks at the Pub? and beam with joy as everyone joins you within the hour for a couple of late-night pints, where you quickly forget about all of the world’s troubles as you drown your sorrows in ale (or seltzers or ciders or Japanese plum liqueur, etc.).

Or imagine you just got into a fight with one of those same buddies, and as you meander up from their dorm in Old K to your North Campus Apartment, you see the warm lights of Peirce Pub beckoning you in, and you think to yourself: Ah, what the hell. I need one tonight. And as you sullenly mosey your way into the Pub, you’re greeted by a couple of regulars and a bartender, who is nonchalantly wiping off a glass with a rag, and asks you, “Hey, what’s gotcha down?” Wouldn’t this sitcom-esque interaction alleviate all of your worries?

Hypotheticals aside, having a working pub would provide students with a great chance to get out of their dorms and spend some quality time socializing with one another. It would bring students a much-needed “third place” separate from the home and the workplace, which is crucial for community building and civic engagement. You may deem my argument a thinly veiled plot to give myself more access to beer, and you’d be right. My case, however, remains strong. Bringing the Pub to life would be easy and would bring a much-needed morale boost to our campus.

I understand that there are bigger items on Kenyon’s agenda than reviving the Pub, but I want to stress how easy it would be to make this happen. Dozens of students, including myself, would gladly complete the certification requirement to become bartenders and work evening shifts. All that Kenyon would need from there are a few drinks on tap, and the pub would be up and running. It would surely be profitable, and there could even be a drink limit policy in case the school is worried that students are getting too rowdy. This would also bring some much-needed diversity to our school’s nightlife, as our only current options are the Village Inn and Flats (but who really goes to Flats?). A working pub can give our student body a new location to host our own community events, providing us with more options than trivia night. I see no reason why this can’t happen, and it’s a shame that the Peirce Pub was ever taken from us in the first place. With some proper initiative and leadership, I could see this operation rolling out by next semester. The ball’s in your court, Kenyon. Let’s make it happen. We want beer!

Tommy Sinclair ’26 is an English major and Spanish minor from Columbus, OH. He can be reached at sinclair2@kenyon.edu.