Section: Editorial

Staff Editorial: Writing Kenyon’s unwritten rules

Before classes reach full throttle, we at the Collegian would like to take this opportunity to welcome first-years and transfers to the Hill for the first time. In lieu of another feast, we have decided to finally write down some of Kenyon’s unwritten rules for your convenience.

Let’s start with the basics: Legend has it that if you walk through the Gates of Hell as the bells of the Church of the Holy Spirit strike midnight, you will be transported straight to Hell. And the gates really can make your life a living hell: If you walk on opposite sides of the post as someone else, your relationship will end. Trust us — we’ve seen it happen.  

Cars may not be allowed on Middle Path, but treat it like a road and stay to the right. And even though love may be in the air with your Kenyon Krush, please keep the Middle Path PDA to a minimum. 

On to Peirce Dining Hall: Old Side is dominated by athletes, but don’t be intimidated: Anyone can enjoy the long tables, books in the windows and the occasional bat. The hustle and bustle of New Side may be intimidating, but the streaming sunlight can make it a perfect location to do homework. Or to not do homework. Also, no matter how much of a rush you’re in, don’t step on the Peirce seal, unless you’re OK with not graduating in four years.

Moving on to the broader campus rules, pranks are encouraged, but vandalism and destruction are not. Included in the general rule against destruction, no one thinks it’s cool to hit an exit sign off of the wall, or to throw your trash on the ground. You lose triple points if you break a glass bottle and risk the safety of all campus critters. And, really, no matter how drunk you are, don’t tear your CA’s posters off the wall.

This rule is actually written, but we felt it warranted repeating: Do not steal other people’s things. This is simple enough, but it applies to the umbrella someone leaves in the Peirce entryway when it’s raining.  And that bike that’s taunting you from the bike rack you pass on the way to class? It’s not there to take a joy ride or to shave a few minutes off your commute.

Finally, there are unwritten digital rules. Your wallet deserves an allstu email; your lost pen does not. If you find something, bring it to Campus Safety, and if you lose something, check Campus Safety. As for YikYak… Well, we’ll let you figure out YikYak once you finish reading this.

As the year continues, we are sure that you will discover even more rules to guide your life at Kenyon, but before we sign off we hope to give you just one more: Always read the Collegian.


Hannah, Katie and Audrey

The staff editorial is written weekly by editors-in-chief Katie Sparvero ’25 and Audrey Baker ’25 and managing editor Hannah Sussman ’25. You can contact them at, and, respectively.


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