How do I find my one true love in college?
Dear Ted Mosby,
I wish I could tell you that you will find your true love. But I can’t. I’m a realist, through and through. I think you’re going to fall in love with a lot of people, and for a lot of different reasons. The person that you love freshman year will most likely be different from the one you love senior year — because you’ve changed, and so has everyone else. What you need is vastly different. You’re going to hate this, but just listen to me for a second: You’ll find someone when you’re not looking at all. At least, that’s how it’s happened to me in the past. Disappointment is a strong emotion, and it can mess you up. Going to a party dead-set on hooking up with someone, and getting distraught when it doesn’t happen, is one of the worst feelings.
So I guess what I’m saying is, try to be OK with being alone. That’s the best thing you can do. Do what you love, whether that’s writing or frisbee or American studies classes, and maybe one day the person who needs you, and whom you need, will be there. If you’re going to find someone compatible, it’ll be because you have similar interests. So be yourself, do what you love; maybe someday you’ll find the person who can love you back. But don’t go out searching for them. Don’t throw yourself at random people at an Old K party. While it may be nice to sleep next to someone for the night, it’s temporary. People always leave.
You’re looking for the person who is going to stay. But first, you need to find yourself.
Emily Sakamoto ’16 is an English major with a concentration in creative writing and a minor in messing with people’s personal lives, whether they ask for advice or not, from North Oaks, Minn. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.