Section: Opinion

New Year’s resolutions worth keeping: eat more Oreos, stop making resolutions

By Griffin Burrough

Well folks, it’s that time of year again. The eggnog has gone bad and we’ve taken down our Christmas lights. Yes, it’s the dreaded January. January also comes with the false promises we make to ourselves to try to improve. I’m talking, of course, about New Year’s resolutions — so, without further ado, let’s get into it.

Most people, when they make a resolution, think about self-improvement. I’m talking about the gym-goers. Every year, they think that this year will be different than all their previous years. Lo and behold, they stop going to the gym by the time Feb. 1 rolls around, or sooner in most cases. Usual gym-goers stop going to the gym in January because it gets so crowded. My mother is one of these people. Every year she and her friend take bets on how long people would last. She typically guesses one month and her friend usually guessed one week. One of them is usually pretty on-point.

Now, as a cynic, I also have to be a hypocrite. I myself have made a false claim for self-improvement. If you know me, you know that I have an addiction to a substance far more dangerous than any other: Double Stuf Oreos. They have to be Double Stuf. On my Reading Days trip I complained so much about how I missed those little monsters that someone actually bought me a whole pack when we got back to civilization. After that, though, I realized that I had a problem that needed fixing in the new year. I, E. Griffin Burrough, vow to no longer indulge in those delicious cookies.

But I hate New Year’s resolutions because we set ourselves up to fail. We give into this false belief that we are going to change who we are because we have to and the truth is that we don’t. I’m not saying that we’re perfect — far from it, actually. I’m just saying that forcing ourselves to change once a year is stupid. If you think that you have a bad habit or don’t like something about yourself and want to change it, do that. Don’t wait till the new year and make yourself some false promise about being better. We all got accepted here, which means that we are all smart people, hopefully. Don’t buy into the belief that you have to change on a certain date. Just be you and I’ll be me and that’s the way it should be.

Griffin Burrough ’18 is undeclared from Summit, N.J. Contact him at eburrough@kenyon.edu.

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