By Matthew Eley
Allstu: n.,\all-stü\. An “all student” Google Mail thread used mostly to announce parties and reclaim lost items from parties, alongside other things that would have been sent to the entire campus in olden days. You can register for a daily email digest of posts to keep abreast of things. “I lost my black North Face jacket at the Cove last night, so I sent an allstu in hopes that someone accidentally took it.”
BFEC: n., \bē-fek\. The Brown Family Environmental Center, located across the Kokosing. A haven of trees, gardens, fields and the few students who live in the old farmhouse. Perfect for walks, stargazing, dates and picnics. “It was so romantic, we went to the BFEC and had my favorite: a picnic plate with wine and a baguette.”
Bullseyes, The: n., \bu̇lz-īz\. The two circular windows at either end of Old Kenyon. While there are technically four, the phrase usually refers to the two facing Middle Path where fraternity parties are often hosted. “If you want to have a good evening, a night at either one of the bullseyes usually hits the mark for me.”
Coshocton: n., \kəˈʃɒktən\. The long stretch of road on the side of Mount Vernon closest to Kenyon. Home to Krogers, Chipotle, Panera, CVS and a bevy of fast food chains. If you ever feel the need to do some rampant consumerism with a small-town twist, Coshocton Road is the ticket. “I need to purchase some cheaply-made foreign goods, can you take me to Wal-Mart on Coshocton?”
Cove, The: n. \kōv\. The interior of the Gambier Grill, usually after ten in the evenings. Named as such for the restaurant that used to be where the Grill is now. Famed for its mac ’n’ cheese wedges; requires IDs for entry at night (read: Wednesday and weekends). “I lost my wallet at the Cove last night, but had a good time nonetheless.”
D-Cat: n., \dē-kat\. The nickname for President Sean Decatur, coined shortly after his arrival at Kenyon by the Collegian’s blog, the Thrill. “I saw president Decatur on his way to work out, this morning.” “You mean D-Cat?”
Dempsey/Thomas Hall: n. \dimpsē / tä-məs hȯl\. Actual names for Peirce’s “New Side.” Official invitations will call New Side’s main eating area “Thomas Hall” and the actual space “Dempsey,” but these are rarely used in normal conversation. “Let’s meet for lunch in Thomas Hall of Dempsey Hall … I mean, New Side.”
Extendo: n., \ik-ˈstend-ō\. The meal at Peirce from 1:15 p.m. to 4:45 p.m., a meal where an abbreviated form of lunch continues to be served to the delight of those studying, the perpetually hungry and social butterflies. “I went to study over coffee at Peirce today, but because of Extendo, all I ended up doing was making experimental sandwiches with Fred.”
Gates of Hell: n. \gātz əv ˈhel\. The name of the fabled gate columns at the southern entrance to middle path, at the front of the Church of the Holy Spirit. Supposedly, walking through them in certain circumstances, usually borrowed from films, will transport you to the inferno. “Where are you right now?” “I just walked through the Gates of Hell, so I’ll be there in four minutes.”
Kenyon Krud: n. \kin-yən krəd\. A sickness that strikes the campus some time in mid-fall and quickly causes most of the student body to fall ill. While it is highly catching, abstaining from Old Kenyon parties during the plague can increase your chances of staying healthy. Can reemerge during the springtime as a highly contagious fit of spontaneous vomiting. “I’d go to the party this evening, but I am terrified of catching the Krud and missing a week of classes.”
Middle Gash: n. \mi-dəl gash\.The section of Middle Path between McBride and the Freshman Quad that is currently under construction. While the tree replacements were needed, it unfortunately looks nothing like Middle Path. “Middle Gash makes campus look like we’re at Denison or something.”
Naz, The: n. \naz\. The Mount Vernon Nazarene University is a similarly-sized private religious institution located five minutes away from Kenyon. While suffering from unfortunate nicknames such as the “Nazguls,” they are mostly good eggs and work frequently with Lords and Ladies. “I went to a party at the Naz the other night; I never knew Bananagrams could be so much fun.”
Wiggle Ground: n. \wi-gəl grau̇nd\. Wiggin Street Café. Derived from the previous coffee house’s name, The Middle Ground, the loss of which is still lamented by aging seniors. “Let’s go to Wiggle Ground and catch up on gossip.”