Wiggin Street Coffee has reintroduced its pumpkin-themed drinks; Walmart’s bountiful Halloween decorations are on full display and homemade, knitted sweaters and knee-high boots are back on the Middle Path runway — it is officially fall in Gambier! But as I prepare for sweater weather, I can’t help but wonder what it must be like to experience Gambier in the fall with a romantic partner. And as I reach geriatric status as a senior, I fear I have little time left.

So, today I come to you with an urgent question: How do you find a romantic relationship at Kenyon? 

Before bringing my question to campus, I dug up as much dirt as I could find on the Kenyon dating scene, putting to work my sleuthing skills usually reserved for discerning cute guys I see in Peirce Hall. 

What I found revealed that I am not the first journalist brave enough to interrogate Kenyon’s dating scene. In fact, it has been done a handful of times throughout the years and has always yielded the same answer: Dating at Kenyon is split between two very polar extremes. 

In a video from 2010 investigating the Kenyon dating scene, one student remarks, “You’re either married or casually hooking up.” Other students agree, explaining that while there are a handful of serious relationships on campus, the majority of students are either single or casually hooking up. 

In 2018, this topic was revisited in a Collegian article that explored the dichotomy where “Kenyon Married” and hooking up seem to be students’ only romantic options. The author asks, “Where is the in-between? Is there an in-between? I’m not sure that there is.”

Perhaps one of our campus’ many ghosts put a curse on Kenyon romance, because in the past decade, it seems that not much has changed. 

Rigby Zentner ’27 described the same phenomenon of a divided dating scene, explaining, “You’re either in a serious relationship … or you’re in the hookup section of campus where you’re just spit sisters with all your friends.”

Georgia Collins ’30, a relatively new observer of Kenyon’s dating culture, noted, “So far I’ve seen, and I’ve heard, that it’s incredibly polar, where either you date someone very long term and are committed, or you don’t date at all and it’s super casual.”

Noah Spinar ’27 described a similar divide, saying, “The people who are in it are in it 100% and then everybody else is in it 0%.” 

Although many agree with this grim description of our campus’ romantic scene, students are split on the cause. 

When asked why the dating scene is so bleak for so many, Collins replied, “Kenyon is so small and everybody knows everybody, and your dating life is also your social life and your academic life.” 

Molly Hunt ’27 agreed: “Everything is broadcasted, and that can mean rejection feels so much scarier.”

According to Spinar, another struggle that puts pressure on building a relationship is simply making the time commitment. Spinar explained, “I think sometimes you have to sub out something else for dating. … I don’t think lots of people at Kenyon are signing up for that, like, willingly.” 

Conrad White ’27 explained that being a senior only makes things harder. “I think that there’s a different kind of limit on dating because you’re known by the people around you. You know these other people; it’s hard to break out of the social scene that you’re already incredibly comfortable in,” he said. 

But regardless of students’ grim perception of the Kenyon dating scene, many of them still had advice to offer. 

Spinar may not know exactly where to find love, but he sure does know where not to look, saying, “I would stop looking for it in a [North Campus Apartment] party.”

In a Kenyon relationship herself, Alexandra Dineen ’29 offered advice on managing dating in Kenyon’s fishbowl environment. She said, “I think a lot of trust and openness, and being an open book is best.” 

And, like Spinar, she urges students looking for something serious to break out of the hookup scene. “I think making deeper connections with the people that you like is a lot more helpful before diving straight into hookups,” Dineen shared. 

In terms of putting yourself out there, White encourages students to take risks. “This is so much easier said than done — biting the bullet can be super scary, but it can also feel really good once it’s out [in] the air,” he remarked.

Zentner agrees that taking chances is key. “Just say yes to all the opportunities that come to you, because even if you think ‘okay, probably not the one,’ maybe it will be,” Zentner said.